I started going to church with a friend of mine. It seemed harmless enough, and I enjoyed the feeling of being part of a special group. After a couple of months, it got out of control. They convinced me to attend bible study twice a week, and before I knew it I'd attended an anti-gay rally and pledged to give up masturbation. I even started to listen to Christian rock music… I can't tell you how horrible that was. One day I realized it had taken over my life. I'd stopped visiting my other friends, and I spent all my time trying not to think lascivious thoughts. I realized it had to stop. Thank goodness I found exexExchurch. They helped me to find a balance in my life again.
- Eddie, 29.

I was brought up in an atheist household, so when I first discovered church it all seemed so illicit and naughty. It became a guilty habit… I'd secretly attend a church service and indulge in the idea of a higher being. I couldn't help myself, it was such a new experience. Then I noticed I was feeling shameful about sex, and hateful toward people who didn't believe. They encouraged me not to talk to my parents. The final straw came when I started wondering if God cared how hard I washed myself in the shower. It was too much. I'm overcoming my addiction now, through the power of irony. ExexExchurch is really helping me stay on the wagon.
- Bob, 35

I'd always wanted to be a singer, but unfortunately my complete lack of rhythm and vocal ability got in the way, not to mention my lisp and spitting problem. But at church that didn't matter. They let me sing as much as I wanted; they even let me sing solo a couple of times, which was fantastic. They were really enjoying it, I could tell by their squints. I felt like I belonged there… soon I was going to church as often as I possibly could. I became celibate and started going door to door handing out religious pamphlets, almost every day. Sometimes I'd sing to people at their doors as I encouraged them to attend church. Then one day a naked woman came to the door and I lost my voice. I realized a whole part of life was passing me by. Now I take it one day at a time, sing in the shower, and masturbate as much as humanly possible
- Virgil, 21

I became part of a church group at university because I really felt I'd found people who were like me. They all wore brown shoes and cardigans; I fitted in perfectly. While other students were having keg parties, we'd be praying and having competitions to see who was more virginal than anyone else. I usually won because I didn't know what a nipple was, although there was that one time a visiting student told us he'd never taken his pants off in his life. I felt so superior to everyone, and it made me feel very secure. And then one night I took a wrong turn and ended up at the Porn and Prawn Party. I can't describe how liberating an experience that was… Before the evening was over a nice young man had helped me to discover my clitoris. We've been married for nearly 9 years now. I still have the urge to attend church every now and again, but my husband gets out the porn and I get back on the right track. And it's great to know that others like me are being helped by exexExChurch.
- Bonnie, 27

Church and Cheesecake

Beautiful Agony